


blinding

by dwyndling



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M, Gen, HEAVY spoilers for Re:Mind, Inspired by Florence + the Machine, M/M, Multi, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Post-Kingdom Hearts III Re Mind, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 17:34:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22499863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dwyndling/pseuds/dwyndling
Summary: /no more dreaming of the dead, as if death itself was undone/
Relationships: Kairi & Riku & Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Kairi/Riku (Kingdom Hearts), Kairi/Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Kairi/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	blinding

_Seems that I have been held, in some dreaming state_ _  
_ _A tourist in the waking world, never quite awake_ _  
_ _No kiss, no gentle word could wake me from this slumber_ _  
_ _Until I realize that it was you who held me under_

**~~~**

The veil of sleep lifts for the barest fraction of an instant...but still, that is enough to break the spell. Not enough to make any magic...but enough that in the instant that the veil is lifted, everything is sharpened into diamond points.

Concrete is rough on the side of his face. 

The sky above is bleak, and blackened against the glare of the city around him. Red lights burn in his periphery, and the blues and greys of his surroundings fade into nothingness in their intensity.

Riku stares at a metropolis that he has never seen before, and struggles to breathe in the face of it.

Could this be...where Sora is? Against the fog of his consciousness there is no greater or more urgent thought, and trembling slightly at the unknown, his feet begin to carry him forward. Everything he does is in pursuit of finding the boy with a smile bright enough to revive worlds. Why should his goal in this place be any different?

There is no sound as his boots strike the pavement, but then again, does there need to be? He is clothed, in the magicked garments from the sojourn to the dark realm, the clothes which he has worn nearly every day since. Protection from the darkness...if anyone needs a safety net for that sort of thing, it’s probably him.

_Besides. If he wore anything else, Sora might not recognize him._

He turns away from the crosswalk, and that awful beckoning red. It shrills a warning, even as his heart calls for him to chase it, that he does not want whatever is awaiting him at the source of that crimson. The light burns, with the intensity of knowledge that he is not yet ready to face.

The puddles on the asphalt give off blue reflections, glimmering under the darkness of night. It is a cold and familiar glow, something that knows him, something he recognizes easily. There are many kinds of darkness, and this is a chilly and dormant one, one that will not bite at his ankles as long as he does not let it. 

Meandering forward, the city stretches on. Riku places one foot in front of the other, and doesn’t think too hard about any of it. 

_Sora._

_We’re here for Sora. That’s all. If we can’t find him, we’ll move on._

Quite suddenly, and with no obvious catalyst, he feels every hair on the back of his neck stand up straight in perfect unison.

Someone is watching him.

It’s not on the level of the street, as there are no eyes burning into his back. Rather, it is from above, as if the night sky itself is watching him with an unflinching stare. The blackness up high reveals nothing, a cold and deep blanket over the sparkling city. It’s secrets are unplumbed, but even then the feeling does not seem to originate from it’s depths.

Somewhere nearby...from the top of a tree, or the roof of a building then. There are no trees high enough to reach the sky, so it must be one of the buildings itself, steel head held high and leering down on him. 

Riku chances a glance upwards, at a white building to his right, which rises up into mirroring towers played with glass. There is no one in the city, as he continues his lonely traipsing down the sidewalks, but of all the buildings around, that one is the one which most feels like it has nearly-human eyes to look down upon him with. 

With force, he shoulders the feeling off and moves onwards. With each step, the fogginess around him grows, and it becomes more and more like walking forward into a swirling tunnel of mist. 

His vision blurs, turning everything into a kaleidoscope of metal and concrete and blue light, and the greyness overtakes him. Static consumes his vision, and all thoughts fade into the blackness, all worries of someone watching from up high, the neutral blackened sky, and a red light which promises answers he does not want to hear.

One thought and one thought only remains.

“Sora-!”

And with a start, Riku realizes he has jerked awake.

**~~~**

_Felt it in my fist, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids_ _  
_ _Shaking through my skull, through my spine and down through my ribs_

**~~~**

The man’s blade rings out with a dull _clang_ as it meets his keyblade, and the rush of power he draws with him is enough to make Sora stumble backwards slightly.

He can’t afford to stumble at all, and thus allows the trip to carry him in a dodge to the right. It’s a near miss, as Yozora’s next attack whistles by with barely a moment to spare.

They’ve been at this for...how long? He’s a little too busy to count the minutes, but it feels like both long hours and as though no time at all has passed. His muscles are weary, aching and begging for a reprieve, but there is no stopping.

He could beg for mercy, but this man doesn’t seem very intent on giving any. He could run...where? Off the edge of the roof?

 _Is this even a real place? Is_ he _even real?_

_Am I…?_

There’s no time to think, as Sora hurriedly raises Oathkeeper to block the red projectiles headed right for him. The young man’s stamina seems endless, refusing to waver even as he sends attack after attack at him, going so far as to steal Sora’s weapon out of his own hands.

The sensation of the keyblade being rended from his hands, torn from his grip to glimmer teasingly in the air above him, and then _not coming back when he called for it,_ was frankly, terrifying. It’s a fear like no other, the sudden realisation he is absolutely powerless in the face of his opponent.

_Who is he?? Why does he look like Riku? And yet...he can take my…_

_...I can’t lose. I need to get home, somehow._

The dance continues on.

**~~~**

_No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone_ _  
_ _No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden_ _  
_ _No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love_ _  
_ _No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love_ _  
_ _No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world_

**~~~**

When she announced it, it was just the two of them, squirreled away in the back of one of the many halls of Yen Sid’s tower.

At first, he couldn’t believe his ears. “Sorry...what?”

_A year. A year of quiet silence and empty white. Dark shadows, cold nights. Watching a slumbering face, growing older by the day and yet completely unaware._

Kairi’s expression is pinched around the edges, and the tone of her voice borders on the edge of apologetic. “I said, I want to let them look at my heart. And Ienzo said I had to be asleep to do it.”

There is definitely a headache coming on, resting deep within his temples. “And...how will this help?”

Her hands are clasped behind her back, head tilted to look at his boots. “The last thing Sora before he…” a beat of silence, “vanished, was to put my heart back together. There must be something there that can let us know how or why he disappeared.”

“Kairi…” There’s a lot he wants to say in response to that, but somehow none of it seems correct. Instead, Riku just lets out a silent sigh.

“Trust me.” There’s a definite note of pleading in her voice. “With this, we might have a chance. None of the others have found anything yet. This…” She swallows, audibly. “My heart might be our only real clue.”

Riku just stares. “And...how long will you have to sleep?”

Several acidic comments rise up in the nether parts of his heart, begging to be said, begging to be allowed to rip into anything and anyone around him. It’s been like that, ever since...ever since.

_How dare you leave me alone, now of all times._

~~_Why didn’t he say goodbye to me?_ ~~

It’s not Kairi’s fault.

“As long as I need to.” She looks up at him then, blue eyes shining with unshed tears. “But...you’ll all still be looking out here right?” Her hands unclench from around each other, hanging loose at her sides as though she wants to reach out, but can’t bring herself to. 

It must be scary, to think of sleeping for an extended amount of time. Will she dream? Will she simply be lost in the darkness of sleep, waiting to be awoken?

“Of course we will.” The words are out of his mouth before he can think too hard about them, but he finds it doesn’t matter either way. “I’ll be helping the king and the others. None of us are going to give up.”

Kairi smiles slightly, though her gaze remains watery. “I know you won’t. And I won’t either.” She does reach out then, pulling one of Riku’s hands towards her, clasped tightly in her own smaller ones. “I’ll be awake before you know it.”

_I hope so, Kairi._

**~~~**

_And I could hear the thunder and see the lightning crack_ _  
_ _And all around the world was waking, I never could go back_ _  
_ _'Cause all the walls of dreaming, they were torn right open_ _  
_ _And finally it seemed that the spell was broken_

**~~~**

_September._

Xion calls to complain about how difficult mathematics is. Since he’s close by, he agrees to come help her with it, seeing as neither Xion nor Roxas have ever been in proper school before. They’re both muddling through with some dexterity, but frankly, Riku himself had barely stayed in school long enough to understand what they were doing. They recruit Lea and Isa, and even with the combined mathematical prowess of all five of them…

Roxas and Xion pass their entry exams. Barely.

_October._

He remembers a world Sora had told him about once, where it was Halloween all year long. He finds it, clustered between shadowy stars. The residents of that world are dismayed to hear that Sora is missing. In the square, a guillotine crashes down anytime he walks by it.

_November._

His seventeenth birthday rolls around, and the celebration is quiet. He spends the day itself no differently than usual, but Xion finds out a few days afterwards and forces him to come to Twilight Town for a cake under great duress.

_December._

December passes uneventfully. Mickey runs into him, seemingly on coincidence, but it’s obvious the mouse king had him in mind. A Yuletide present from the king is hardly expected, but Mickey gifts him with a pair of enchanted binoculars, made from adamantite and silver. They clip easily onto his belt, perfect for travel.

_January._

Late in the month, it’s Kairi’s sixteenth birthday. He spends the day as he normally does, searching, wandering endlessly, but that evening he makes camp on a cliff overlooking the ocean. The waves are dark, sparkling blue jet, and the wind whips them up into a frenzy. It did not rain, but the sky remained overcast throughout the night.

_February._

In this world, one bustling with people and cars, Valentine’s Day chocolate is being advertised every which way he looks. A boy around his age, petite and with determined features, tells him he hasn’t heard from Sora at all, for months now. The white robot by his side confirms this clinically, and then comments nonchalantly on Riku’s blood pressure.

Later, once he’s alone, he buys a box of chocolates and eats them all in one sitting, just to spite the robot.

_March._

This would’ve been Sora’s sixteenth birthday. He dreams the same dream again that night, lost in a sparkling city, while eyes stare down at him from the skies above.

_April._

April passes uneventfully.

_May._

He wanders the empty halls of the Land of Departure, and wonders how his seniors are faring. Hopefully Aqua is able to battle the darkness without reenacting too much of her trauma. Hopefully Terra is keeping his head on his shoulders. Hopefully Ven hasn’t done anything reckless.

It’s refreshing, to worry about something new for a change.

_June._

June passes uneventfully.

_July._

The search has not slowed down at all. Supposedly there are infinite worlds, and he hasn’t even exhausted all the worlds Sora has probably been to yet. So many people, so many different lives and tales that he has walked into and straight through, without pausing to look around for anything beyond the obvious target. 

His search has one goal. Barring that, nothing else matters.

**~~~**

_And all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open_ _  
_ _And all my bones began to shake, my eyes flew open_

**~~~**

“I’m sorry, but I don’t lose.”

The expression on Yozora’s face is hardened, looking down at him without visible remorse. He steps forwards with intent, mismatched eyes staring unforgivingly down to where Sora is on his knees. 

It’s easy to ignore, as suddenly, with no warning, inexplicable tears flood Sora’s vision, and the world before him turns to a blurry mass of midnight blue and indistinct gleaming lights. Yozora flickers and fades into a silver smudge in his periphery, something foreboding and inextricably intertwined with the fabric of this world itself.

His hands feel...cold.

Blood turns to molten silver, which turns to burning glass, and suddenly, he’s rising upwards, up from the hard metal beneath him.

_Pain...snowflakes?_

_It’s really cold._

It envelopes his hands, and his arms, and then suddenly, his entire chest, spiking up to consume his face. With every flicker of diamond sensation, his being clicks more and more into place, something paradoxical in it’s variant of peace.

He doesn’t hear the whispered words of the young man before him. Does he even exist at all, as what’s left of his body turns to nothing but small lights, flickering up towards the void of night?

The world glimmers blue.

**~~~**

_No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone_ _  
_ _No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden_ _  
_ _No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love_ _  
_ _No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love_ _  
_ _No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world_

**~~~**

There’s a boy, with bright blue eyes and a smile like the sun. He’s holding her left hand. His eyes are glassy, painted in the faded colors of pure memory.

There’s another boy, turned away so she can’t see his face. His grip on her right hand is tight, but she can barely see him, wreathed in the shadows that surround them all.

...this won’t do.

With all the strength she can muster, she pulls them closer to her, the shadows giving way as she focuses. Intention breathes color into the face of the boy to her left, and loosens some of the shadows around the face of the boy to her right.

There is a clear limit, to how close she can pull them towards herself. She tries to draw her hands to her chest, to pull them in to see them clearer...but something prevents her muscles from moving in such a way. 

The whole world is foggy, misty and dark. Something breathes in the air around them, something encompassing them in a dream that does not move. 

It’s her. It’s her breathing, soft and even, and barely loud enough to hear. It runs like a current through her, that sharp sting of life now muted into a dull ache.

_Sora. Riku._

_Please let this work._

**~~~**

_Snow White's stitching up the circuit boards_ _  
_ _Synapse slipping through the hidden door_ _  
_ _Snow White's stitching up your circuit board_

**~~~**

_August._

“Kairi…”

It’s laughably easy, to answer Aerith’s question with nothing but the simple facts of the matter. To not think too hard right now about the things that always keep him up at night.

He went to see her, before coming here. She was laid out in an exam room, looking pale and wan even against the white of the chair. She did not move at all, even to twitch a muscle when he reached forward to brush a finger against her cheek.

_She’s been asleep for one year. A full year._

Riku hopes it’s not too noticeable that he’s having this conversation mostly on autopilot. It’s increasingly difficult as time passes, to feel well and truly invested in anything that goes on around him besides his search.

Seeing Sora on the computer screen is a little like applying pressure to a bruise. Faint, but an echo of pain all the same. He expected to be more excited by the simple sight of him, but seeing the lifeless data recreation does nothing except to make his stomach coil into further knots.

Even as the fairy speaks to him kindly, no hope sparks in his breast. It’s already been a year. It’s only been a year.

“My...dreams?”

_**~~~** _

_No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone  
No more calling like a crow for a boy, for a body in the garden  
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love  
No more dreaming like a girl so in love, so in love  
No more dreaming like a girl so in love with the wrong world _

_**~~~** _

It’s warm now, brimming with the force of life. Too warm, much too warm, when before the cold was all that existed.

Dawn to dusk. Dusk to dawn. An ephemeral twilight that rises into the sharpness of daybreak.

_There’s a boy, with silver hair, living tethered by a red thread of hope._

_There’s a girl, with ocean blue eyes, in the depths of warm and deep darkness on a fool’s chance._

There’s a dream lost in the in-between, crossing over the bonds of all known light and life. Something inescapable, something fated, something written into time with the hands of a fey god.

_You miss them, don’t you._

The world stretches on pure and blue, a single sky and a single star. One foot in front of the other, just like it’s always been.

_The bounds have been reached. You will be returned to whence you started, but you did not start at home._

Until suddenly, he’s outside the bounds, and the rules don’t quite work the same anymore. Sometimes the floor doesn’t know how to hold his feet, and sometimes the sky doesn’t exist. Sometimes, he’s not even sure if _he_ exists anymore.

_Cities. Flashing lights. A skyline sculpted with a glimmering rainbow and the promise of the unknown. There’s someone waiting for you. Someone who knows you quite well. Who knows you inside and out, almost._

But you knew that already, didn’t you?

**~~~**

_Snow White's stitching up the circuit boards  
_ Synapse slipping through the hidden door  
_Snow White's stitching up your circuit board  
_Synapse slipping through the hidden door

_fin._


End file.
